5 Ways To Know You Should End It
May 17, 2008
lifeis2good
Tags: divorce, initmacy, love, marriage, marriage help, newly weds, relationships, separation, sex, sexuality
Here are five ways to know you should end the relationship…
(I am not talking to married people. This is for singles only. If you are married work it out.)
1.YOU don’t feel it anymore
2.You DON”T feel it anymore
3.You don’t FEEL it anymore
4. You don’t feel IT anymore
5. You don’t feel it ANYMORE
Now before someone thinks that I just lost my mind let me explain the above. A relationship is all about US. If you don’t feel anything about the person anymore then the relationship has become one sided. That is not good for the other person especially when they are giving their all in the relationship. So when things become you and not us, after you have tried to get us back, respect the other person and let them go.
The word don’t is a relationship ender. Instead of wanting to do this or that, you find yourself in don’t mode. I don’t want to talk on the phone. I don’t want to go out. I don’t find them attractive anymore. When you don’t list gets bigger than your do list, it’s time to move on.
You do not have a relationship if the feelings are gone. Relationships are very complex. A lot goes on. There are times when you may love each other more or less, but you still have feelings for them. You think about them even if you are angry with them. There is always an emotional stirring. But when the day comes when that stirring is not there your feelings have died. That’s the day when there is no difference in your heart from looking at them or the nearest wall. No spark, not even a fizzle. You are just hanging on for the sake of hanging on or perhaps you’ve invested so much time in the relationship that you feel obligated to keep it going. If you do this you will eventually hurt each other. Be fair and give each other the change to find true happiness.
IT is what attracted you to them in the first place and the thing that keeps you desiring them despite everything that you go through in your relationship. Every relationship has an IT. Maybe it was physical or emotional or intellectual. Whatever it is you have to keep it going. When you lose IT try to find it and restore the relationship. But if you ever get to the point where you can’t find IT or you begin to doubt if you seriously ever had IT, then maybe…
Anymore is pretty much final. You made a decision that this relationship is not worth investing in anymore, it is not worth restoring anymore, etc. When you get to anymore, it’s over. Thank each other for the good times you’ve had, wish each other the best, then go and find IT.
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1.
Ecstatic | May 17, 2008 at 1:03 am
I had just one reason but thanks a lot for telling the remaining four of them.
I agree with your Don’t Theory.
So true!
But what if the Other person doesn’t understand. any further bullets for avoid being obligated?
2.
littlemoonflower | May 17, 2008 at 1:51 am
I agree with you pretty much EVERY point you made, except that it does not apply to married people. So, are you saying that married people should be unhappy? Reduce their life quality and continue to hurt each other? You yourself said that “You do not have a relationship if the feelings are gone”… I do not understand why these individuals should not have the chance to: “Be fair and give each other the change to find true happiness.”
3.
littlemoonflower | May 17, 2008 at 1:53 am
I agree with you pretty much EVERY point you made, except that it does not apply to married people. So, are you saying that married people should be unhappy? Reduce their life quality and continue to hurt each other? You yourself said that “You do not have a relationship if the feelings are gone”… I do not understand why these individuals should not have the chance to: “Be fair and give each other the change to find true happiness.”
4.
lifeis2good | May 17, 2008 at 4:05 am
To Estatic
In a break up the other person normally won’t understand unless they have been feeling the same way. You have to follow your heart even if they are not willing to let go. Hanging on for the sake of hanging on is robbing both of you of happiness.
5.
lifeis2good | May 17, 2008 at 4:14 am
To Little Flower
I want to clarify why I said this post is not for married people. What you said is so true about reducing the quality of life and living in unhappiness. If you follow my blog you will see that I am for restoration but totally know that some situations can not be restored.
My purpose in making that comment is that a lot of times people are looking for excuses to get a divorce. They will end a relationship for the most trivial things. Marriage has a higher obligation to work things throug h than dating.
Marriage is a committment and it takes sacrifice and lots of work. People often go into marriage not understanding this and then when the winds of difficulty come all of a sudden divorce is the bright and shinny option. When they really need to develop character between each other, endurance and build the marriage in both good times and bad.
I did not want this post to be a seed planted in someones mind that is married for an easy way out.
I really appreicated your comments and thank you. If you want to know what I think about marriages that don’t seem to be able to restore please feel free to read my articles on divorce.