I Hate My Marriage So What Should I Do?

June 1, 2008 lifeis2good
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If you are at that point, you are in a good spot because at least you are thinking about making some changes. Here is where a lot of people are, I hate my marriage – Period. They are at complaint stage and that gets you no where…

However when you get to I hate my marriage so what should I do like this person said, then you are ready to deal. So here are somethings to consider and if you read my blog you already know I am pro-restoration.

1.Why do you hate your marriage? Write these things down and then figure out how many of them you can fix. Sometimes just looking at things on paper helps you to be able to prioritize and come up with a plan.
2. When did you start to hate your marriage? Often there is a trigger point. If you can find what began the spiral reversing that may solve your marriage issue and you can love your spouse again.
When you trouble shoot a computer issue the first thing that a tech will tell you is to go back and undo the last thing that you did and see if that fixes the situation.
3.What factors have contributed to you hating your marriage? Be honest here, is it a two party or one party problem? Who is really the bad guy or is it a combination of both? How can you calmly discuss these factors with your spouse and try to resolve them or are you willing to set up marriage counseling?
4. Where are you in your relationship and where would you like to be? Are you spiraling to the dead zone or are you are you already dead emotionally. If you are spiraling, what can you do to break the fall? For example have you tried to confront the situations that are causing you to spiral or are you suffering in silence? Find a way to break the fall. If you are already dead emotionally what will it take to bring a ressurection? For example if he or she would just stop doing _______ maybe we could get it together. I need him or her to do ____________________ . This would make our relationship at least have a chance. Then sit down and establish some goals of where you would like to be with the marriage in 6 months and work towards that.

Most people really don’t hate their spouse. They just hate the pain that their spouse is causing. If you can get to the root of the pain and both of you are willing to work through the pain you will find love again. It’s just like the sun on a cloudy day. The sun is always there you just can’t see it when thunderclouds are all around. But once the clouds are gone you get the sun back. Get rid of the things that are clouding your relationship so that the love will shine through. See my ABOUT page there are lots of resources available for you on that page.

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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. rekindlethemagic  |  June 1, 2008 at 11:16 pm

    Great blog and answer…of course there is a fine line between love and hate.

    We are not our feelings and emotions but sometimes we can feel overwhelmed by them…it is so important to step hack and look at what is truly going on.

    Warmly,
    Anita Jackson
    Author, Relationship Expert, Deal Maker and Peace Negotiator

  • 2. lifeis2good  |  June 2, 2008 at 9:22 pm

    Thanks Anita,
    I appreciate your response and I absolutely love your tiles especially peace negotiator. That’s wonderful!


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