I was watching television the other day and heard a news story that was beyond comprehension to me. Truly it will be beyond comprehension for any American. The story was about honor killing in India. They showed two dynamically clashing sides of their culture. Hoards of people were protesting and crying for the overturn of  honor killing, while others were demanding that the laws stay in tact. As they showed both sides of the issue I felt myself cringing on the inside thinking how can anybody think it is okay to kill their wife or any woman especially after she has been violently assaulted. According to the honor killing theory a raped woman was no different than a fornicator, prostitute or adulteress.

When the reporter asked the person he was interviewing why there was no difference. He admitted to killing his own sister who had been raped. Shooting her four times in the head and stating she was damaged goods and that no one in their country wanted their women to be like American women. I had to chuckle at that because an Amercian male would more than likely say we would not want to be like you because we don’t  kill our women, especially those that have been raped. Even in the American prison system a man who abuses a woman, a child, or the elderly is likely to be dead by the hands of inmates long before their prison term is over because it’s not tolerated.

One of the persons interviewed that was against honor killing said that the system had been around since the Ottoman Empire and it should end now. The person cried out that thte killing must stop. Our Bible would agree with that person. The Lord straightened that out a long time ago when a woman caught in the very act of adultery was tossed down at his feet by a mob that was carrying massive rocks to stone her. The crowd was thristy for blood – the blood of the woman I might add, they let the man off the hook. The mob said something to the effect, the law says we have the right to stone and adultress. The Lord started writing in the sand. They pressed him again. He replied he that is without sin cast the first stone. Not a one in the crowd could do anything but put their stones down and leave because they were all, just as we all are, guilty of something.

Another time the Lord encountered a woman that was living with a man. He exposed her whole life with men. He said, you’ve had 5 husbands and the one you are living with now is not your husband. He never condemend her for being a fornicator. He knew what she and the man were doing. He just let her go to spread the good news.

The standard that our bible sets up for marriage is love your wife, honor your wife, support your wife, encourage your wife, listen to your wife, help your wife, provide for your wife and physically satisfy your wife. The standard is also to love God first so that he can show you how to do that. He never wanted one single hair on one of his womens head harmed in any way. That is why he even allowed Moses to write the bill of divorcement because the men were abusing and killing the women. God’s heart breaks when women are abused, harmed or killed. As much as he never EVER wanted divorce to ever take place – he valued a woman’s life more and in essence said if you are going to treat her like that just let her go. We are the problem. We disobey God. We disobey his standards and doing things the way he instructed us to do them. Then our lives are in a mess and marriages are in shambles. Go back to God and all that can be remedied.

Is it a sin to fornicate and commit adultery. Yes by all means according to God’s law. And according to his most holy standard it is worthy of death by what was written in the law. But in his mercy he placed love and forgiveness above the law. But in his mercy he placed life above death. So he told the woman caught in adultery go and sin no more. To the other woman living with the man he said nothing.

Any deviation from God’s standard according to God is sin. And according to God’s standard all people with unrepented sin will perish. I truly believe that want God wants from all of us is to love him and to obey him, and then when we disobey because of our human weakness to come to him ask forgiveness and allow him to teach us to live according to what he knows is best for us. God never wanted anyone to fornicate or commit adultery – NEVER. He sanctified sex for marriage only. He wanted us to have one special person that and one special relationship that no one else could immitate. One initmate relationship that no one else could have but them. Then he wanted that couple to spend a lifetime figuring each other out. But he is aware that we do it and will never stop trying to get us to do the right thing because he knows that is the path that will bring the most good to our lives and spare us pain. Women are a gift from God to be treated as precious. The spirit of the living God is still crying out all over the world today put the rocks down.

This is my 22 nd  year of marriage and I can honestly say of my husband he is good to me in so many ways that there would be too many to mention. This morning I woke up smiling because I had dreamed about him. I dreamed we were dancing on a beautiful ship and that the paparzzi were all around us taking pictures. The dream was so real and it just felt good. I woke up thinking I am so blessed to still think wonderfully of my husband after all these years and we’ve been through a lot but still love each other like crazy.
So if you read my posts you know that I decided to dedicate the next month to marriage restoration and I hope you will come on the journey with me and leave your own words of personal encouragement for those who may be struggling. You also know that I got inspired to do this after watching the movie Fireproof and highly recommended that anyone going through marriage difficulty watch the movie – so let’s get started.

The following tips can help a bad marrige to become better and a good marriage to become exceptional. For week one I want you to focus on 7 things:
1. Why did you fall in love with your spouse?
2. I want you to start a log on every good thing your spouse has ever done for you and I don’t care how you feel about them right now. Dig in those memories and start building a log. Start with the very first thing that they did to impact your life. And write about that good thing until you begin to feel it emotionally, even if one event takes all day to stir those memories.
3. Think about what made your spouse stand out and make you want to marry them beyond any other person you had a relationship with.
4. I want you to tell your spouse that you love them at least twice a day for the next 31 days even if they curse you for saying it.
5. I want you to say a prayer for your spouse every day for the next 31 days – It can be short like Dear God save my marriage.
6. I want you to list things that you know bug the __________ out of your spouse pick the top one and let your spouse know that from this day forward I will….
7. I want you to touch your spouse – a hug, hold hands, kiss, back rub, foot massage – just do something every day as often as you would like.

Next I want you to find a marriage tip from your pet. Pet’s have great marriage philosophy if we observe them and then do something that you learned from your pet to enhance your marriage. I am going to give you five things that I learned from my pet which I have incorporated into my marriage:
1. Unconditional love – my dog love me no matter what. I can have a good day or a bad day. I can be a complete nut case and drive everybody in my house up the wall but my dog will stay right by my side. Never leave me and will be kind and loving towards me no matter what my mood is.
2. My dog wakes me up every morning and makes me laugh, then we play, then she goes off to the rest of the house to wake everybody up. So I make sure that my husband wakes up to a smile everyday.
3.My dog knows whenever I come home and greets me at the door or runs out to the car. So I greet my husband whenever I know he’s coming in and I never let him leave without saying goodbye and kissing him.
4. My dog spends quality time with me everyday. We have at least one meal together and she always makes sure that I spend time away from work. My husband and my schedule is so busy but we do try to have some meals together during the week and at least Sunday morning and evening the whole family has meals together. We are trying to learn not to always work and have more time for entertainment.
5.My dog forgives and forgets. If I accidently step on her tail and she cries. If I pick her up and say I’m sorry she’s ready to play again. So I purpose to always be in a forgiving mood like my dog.

Please share your pets marriage tips as well.

I watched a movie last night that brought to mind my blog audience. It was such a timely and compelling movie that I decided to write about. The movie was called Fireproof. I want you to view the movie so I won’t provide a lot of details, but it was about a couple going through hate and hell and trying to decide whether turning the situation around was worth it. I found myself going through a range of emotions as the drama unfolded. But I concluded that watching that movie could be highly inspirational if you want to save your marriage – TODAY. Now, I won’t say whether things actually worked out for the couple or not, but I will say it was enough information in the movie to help any doomed marriage if that is what you want. The movie also inspired me to put together a 31 day challenge to readers of this blog starting May 1st. This site is dedicated to saving marriages and making them better so keep posted for the marriage challenge that is ahead.