How Can I Tell My Wife She is not Good in Bed?
May 21, 2009
Tags: breaking up, Christian marriage, compatibility, compatibility questions, compatibility test, end relationship, ending a relationship, healthy relationships, husband, initmacy, love, love and marriage, marriage, marriage advise, marriage bed, marriage builders, marriage counseling, marriage divorce, marriage help, marriage problems, marriage proposal, newly weds, pre marriage, relationship advise, relationship issues, relationship test, relationships, sex, sexuality, troubled relationships, understanding men in a relationship, understanding women in a relationship, wife
Sometimes actions speak louder than words. Showing her ways to improve intimacy will probably go a whole lot further than to risk hurting her feelings by what you say. The Bible has a really healthy range of keeping the bedroom relationship pleasing and constraints on what will harm that relationship. See my post How To Become A Great Lover. Here are some somethings that might be helpful.
1. Operate in patience and be kind.
2. Determine if there are any emotional roots or physical roots that she has. Former abuse in any form can ruin intimacy until it is worked out, perhaps even through counseling.
3. Is she prone to feeling rejected or low self esteem? You will have to build that before going any further in building intimacy.
4. Have you considered that she may feel the same way about you? Communications could help in this.
5. Follow Biblical guidelines – keep the marriage bed undefiled, do nothing the two of you can’t agree on and feel confortable with. No porn. No lewd activities. No third parties. No cheating, etc. These are all biblical guidelines.
6. As you all begin to develop intimacy tell her the things she is doing right, praise her and build upon that. That principle is laid out in Songs of Soloman. The whole book is about them expressing to each other how satisfied they are of their intimacy.
7. Build security. The more secure a woman feels the more she can be free.
8. Reduce the stress in her life and help with the kids. This can do wonders for you because she will have more energy.
9. Let her verbally know that you love her, that she is important and what she means to you.
10. Take her away for intimate weekends throughout your relationship. Just getting away from the daily grind and spending special time to provide romance will help.
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