What To Do When You Hate Your Husband
July 15, 2008
Tags: breaking up, Christian marriage, compatibility, compatibility questions, compatibility test, divorce, end relationship, ending a relationship, healthy relationships, husband, initmacy, love, love and marriage, marriage, marriage advise, marriage bed, marriage builders, marriage counseling, marriage divorce, marriage help, marriage problems, marriage proposal, newly weds, pre marriage, relationship advise, relationship issues, relationship test, relationships, separation, sex, sexuality, troubled relationships, understanding men in a relationship, understanding women in a relationship, wife
It takes more energy to hate than to love and love is so much more liberating. So how do you start loving them when they really are a dog?
I sat here thinking about the two most popular articles on my blog, they are I can’ stand my husband and does my husband love me. Between the two they have been read 3,163 times and counting – that’s a lot of people. So I thought if a person really hates their husband, but really doesn’t want to leave them then what is the quickest solution…This is what I came up with, LOVE YOUR HUSBAND. You can’t hate and love at the same time. So just shift emotions and decide he’s worth loving.
The Bible says when you treat someone the best, when they treat you the worst, emotionally it will be like putting burning coals on their head. Now I am not talking about abusive or life threatening situations, you need to put some serious distance between you and the abuser and maybe even divorce them. I’m talking about the people that have just gotten to the point of frustration and really can’t stand their husband, but still deep inside really love them.
It takes more energy to hate than to love and love is so much more liberating. So how do you start loving them when they really are a dog? Talk to God and ask him to give you the supernatural strength to love them unconditionally. He will do it.
I remember one time when I was growing up, I realized that I hated my pastor because of some things he had done to me personally and other members of my church. That is the only person in my life that I can actually say that I hated. When I got grown it still bugged me, so I took it to God. I said you know I hate him, but I still love my church what am I suppossed to do? He told me so clearly, love him anyway. I said God but you know all the stuff he has done and he said, but if you don’t want to hate him, you have to love him. So I said how? God told me to pray for him and to end my prayer with, “and I love my pastor.”
At first I could not do it. Matter of fact I could not even call his name to pray for him. I had to take that to God too. I said God I can’t even call his name, and God told me then say him. So I started praying. I pray for him and I love him. This went on for about a year. Then finally one day as I was praying I said, I pray for Pastor ___________ and I love Pastor ____________. When I heard myself pray those words I knew my healing had really begun. It got easier and easier every day to pray for him. First it went from mechanical to really feeling it. I was so happy that God had given me the breakthrough.
Well, several years later. My pastor called me and we had some airing out of grievances. I don’t think he knew at the time how much he had offened me. But by the end of the conversation all was cleared. From that point on we had a great relationship and about three years after that he got very sick and died. I thank God that he restored our relationship before he got sick. During the time he was sick he knew I was praying for him. The last time that I saw him was when I went back to my hometown and visited the church and he let everyone know how much he loved me. I never saw him again, but was so greatful to have listened to God’s advice. When you hate someone, you have to love them if you want the relationship restored.
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