I Need You and I Want You

January 30, 2009 lifeis2good
Tags: breaking up, Christian marriage, compatibility, compatibility questions, compatibility test, divorce, end relationship, ending a relationship, healthy relationships, husband, initmacy, love, love and marriage, marriage, marriage advise, marriage bed, marriage builders, marriage counseling, marriage divorce, marriage help, marriage problems, marriage proposal, newly weds, pre marriage, relationship advise, relationship issues, relationship test, relationships, separation, sex, sexuality, troubled relationships, understanding men in a relationship, understanding women in a relationship, wife

I want you all the time and I hate it when you are so tired that we are not spending enough time together, when I am with you I feel…
I need to know what we can do to change the way this relationship is heading and it is not good. I want you to know that I don’t want us to end up in a divorce but I am struggling I need us to….
Sometime I wonder if you were the person I should have married but that is only when I am angry, I love you but I need things to change. These are the things that are affecting me. I need you to help me to work on…

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All the people that read my blog are precious to me. I love knowing that many of you are very consistent readers of the blog so thank you. If I were to sum up everything that all the articles represent is that people have needs in relationship that are not being met and that is the cause of most of the marriage conflict. So I guess what my reflection today is to ask all of you that are struggling have you ever sat down and tried to figure out what you really need out of a relationship?

At some point when we marry we are seeking to fill the need of love, companionship and personal security at some level. But what happens is as the years pass by we somehow forget to reflect upon the needs and begin to make assumptions. Eventually this breaks down the relationship and one day you look up and the very person that you loved doesn’t look the same anymore. Yet a part of your heart aches because you know that the person that you loved is still there. You just don’t know what happened to them emotionally or physically.

That is why biblical wisdom says you have to cling to your spouse and really know them. If we follow that pattern then needs and wants can be expressed in a loving environment. Do you need something from your spouse? Do you have particular wants? Do you want them? Think about it. Then you might even want to communicate with each other about it. Just be nice to each other when you do. Go out on a date and talk about reviving your relationship. Talk about being honest and not hurting each other. Get permission from one another to speak candidly knowing that your intent is clearly only to improve the relationship. Then work it out together.

So here is a start:
I need you to support me because when you don’t this is how I feel…
I need you to stop nagging me and trust me to do what I said because when you don’t it makes me feel…
I want you all the time and I hate it when you are so tired that we are not spending enough time together, when I am with you I feel…
I need to know what we can do to change the way this relationship is heading and it is not good. I want you to know that I don’t want us to end up in a divorce but I am struggling I need us to….
Sometime I wonder if you were the person I should have married but that is only when I am angry, I love you but I need things to change. These are the things that are affecting me. I need you to help me to work on…
Let’s not do this to each other. Let’s talk…

Work at your relationship. Work hard. Restore it.

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